nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im having a threesome with these popsicles
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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