I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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