He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
