I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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