WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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