let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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