Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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