It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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