When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
