im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
