atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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