he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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