when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i think i just lost a toe
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize