new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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