I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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