I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
