i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
