Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
