And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
