Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize