Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
