then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
