Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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