We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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