like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize