her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize