He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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