have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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