This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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