Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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