just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
