had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize