Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize