We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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