I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize