maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
