I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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