i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
