I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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