I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
do nipples grow back?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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