But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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