Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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