She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
