I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize