we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
