Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
