Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
