I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
