I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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