I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
