Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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