i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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