Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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