I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
