Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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