you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
50% drunk capacity currently
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
