Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
