You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
