life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
