fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize
