He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
