he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
ttyl tear gas
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
